keep trying! Hot xxx keep trying! However, the beginning was strong but then on the end with the sex, you totally let us down. I am not going to tell you how you should write, but please check your work before posting. keep trying! keep trying! I would suggest having someone proofread before you postDanejarousReport 2011-07-05 20:42:08I don’t know why every time I see your name on a new story I read it. I am not going to sugar coat it; your storytelling ability is horrendous. keep trying! 4 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2011-07-10 06:58:29poor writing and story telling skillsm but good ideas. It feels like you are skipping around a lot; whether or not you are is a mystery. Anyway, I really liked your story.
