It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» One suggestion though, split the paragraphs with a line break between them. needs to be a little longer on the sexual part..Vanion_3000Report 2009-03-01 20:35:03For a first attempt, well done. Hot xxx One suggestion though, split the paragraphs with a line break between them. needs to be a little longer on the sexual part..Vanion_3000Report 2009-03-01 20:35:03For a first attempt, well done. It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» Thank you.Anonymous readerReport 2009-05-03 17:40:27Very good…made me cum. needs to be a little longer on the sexual part..Vanion_3000Report 2009-03-01 20:35:03For a first attempt, well done. 7 comments«12»READERReport 2009-10-14 10:20:44not bad for a first…shorten the paragraghs..easier to read that way, and please, a little more character development and backgroundAnonymous readerReport 2009-08-25 17:03:32Good story. It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12»
