You need to work on your detail and the story length. Try separating the paragraphs out so that it is more readable. XXX Hot HD For something like this, a little back-story could be a great help.anonymous readerReport 2013-02-27 23:33:55Not bad but add some more detail«1» Don’t be afraid to write and add paragraphs/grammar. You need to work on your detail and the story length. Also watch what types you put on top, you only had a gang rape of males/ female.anonymous readerReport 2013-02-28 00:38:25Break-up your paragraphs, watch your spelling and you capitalize CCUSA in one place and don’t in another (careful). 5 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-03-10 20:05:14Are you all kidding me? For something like this, a little back-story could be a great help.anonymous readerReport 2013-02-27 23:33:55Not bad but add some more detail«1» When did this become a lesson in writing and when did people that post on here
