drop the oversized equipment it just shows you are over compensating for your own defficencies. Hot xxx 47 comments«12345»Anonymous readerReport 2014-08-08 07:16:39Real goodAnonymous readerReport 2010-07-26 20:10:20learn about what you write do research so you don’t look like a fool. Learn to use paragraphs. it’s crap like that makes me want to not even finish reading the story. Learn to use paragraphs. drop the oversized equipment it just shows you are over compensating for your own defficencies. never post a story with two points of view if you want to tell both sides do it in seperate chapters. Learn to use paragraphs. it’s crap like that makes me want to not even finish reading the story. 2nd (a deritive of the first) Work on the detail a little and it would be perfect.«12345»
