Wasn’t unreadable or anything, but dialogue was a bit rough towards the beginning. I just smiled and laughed, but never had the heart to break it to the snobby punk that I had already claimed what he was after!Anonymous readerReport 2009-08-27 22:29:16Not bad but not as good as it couldve been. XXX Hot Part of writing is telling a story, and that generally involves letting the readers SEE the characters. I just smiled and laughed, but never had the heart to break it to the snobby punk that I had already claimed what he was after!Anonymous readerReport 2009-08-27 22:29:16Not bad but not as good as it couldve been. Beat it.«123» Same what others said, spellcheck, grammerish, ect.
